Tuesday, January 22, 2013

possibility

I went to my mom's house today. I've avoided seeing her recently because I can't handle her stresses being put on me...my mom hugged me...sincerely...my mom told me she was proud of me...I don't know how to process that.

She called me a fighter. I've always been a fighter, I'll always be a fighter, because I have no choice. I don't know how to take that because its not good, its not bad, its just my reality. I have to fight, I have to fight for everything, and that's just how it is...I don't have anyone to fight my battles for me, I don't have anyone to take care of me. I have me and that has to be enough.

February 1st will mark the three year anniversary of the date I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Fuck MS!

I was watching daytime television and caught a show with Shemar Moore. He was there with his mother. She also has MS.  He called his mom his super hero and multiple sclerosis her kryptonite. I like that. I've known that I'm a super hero for a while. I fight, endure and survive. MS is my kryptonite.

I'm starting to have faith in people again, faith that not everyone is going to let me down, faith that people are good at heart, faith that people will see me as more than my disease. I've only recently allowed myself the luxury of being seen as more than my disease.

The possibilities are endless. I'm taking baby steps to the top.

That's a beautiful concept, possibility. Allow it in your life and things light up.